Niagara Falls (Part I)

Today I had the chance to visit Niagara Falls, NY. Even the most patriotic of Americans will tell you that the best view of the falls comes from the Canadian side, which meant I had to leave the greatest country in the history of mankind to see the view.

It was a long lonely road across a bridge over the Niagara river. The bridge, named homoerotically the Rainbow Bridge, was completed in 1941 in an effort to promote peace...just soon enough for us to go to war with German and Japanese people.

As I crossed the line, I knew there was no coming back...at least not for an afternoon. I was not an expat.

Immediately, I realized that the view of the falls was nicer on the Canadian side. What I saw on the far left was the American Falls, then the Luna Fall, and on the right the Horseshoe Falls. It almost made me forget the home of the brave and the land of the free.
I was immediately given a wake up call. They speak French here. Canada is evil and must be stopped. But we'll do that later, after I've seen the falls.

I went on. I had to prepare myself for the worst though...God forbid I get hurt and get free healthcare. I needed to be on guard.

Here are the American Falls (USA! USA! USA!). At a height of 110 feet and a length of 850, it pumps anywhere between 1.5 to 3 million gallons of water per minute (depending on the time of year). In typical Communist Canadian fashion, only 10% of the water flows over the American falls. The greedy Canadians take the rest.

Soon after arriving on foreign soil, I got on a boat (with an American flag) called the Maid of the Mist and saw a close up view of the falls. While it began in 1846 designed to ferry horse carriages and stagecoaches. According to Wikipedia, it did not become a full fledged tourist operation until 1854. In 1861, a Maid boat made its first journey through the massive Horseshoe Falls.

The view is pretty close.

Really close.

The highlight of the ride -- I grudgingly admit as an American, is the Horeshoe Falls. Ranging at 170 feet, it has a 2,200 foot crest line that pumps 17.25 to 34.5 million gallons of water a minute.


On the Maid of the Mist ride, I saw a rainbow. It was one of a couple I saw today. In order to ruin the majesty of the moment with science, this is what a rainbow is:

Author Donald Ahrens in his text Meteorology Today describes a rainbow as "one of the most spectacular light shows observed on earth". Indeed the traditional rainbow is sunlight spread out into its spectrum of colors and diverted to the eye of the observer by water droplets. The "bow" part of the word describes the fact that the rainbow is a group of nearly circular arcs of color all having a common center.

And there is no Santa Claus.

These photos do not do it justice. It's really an amazing sight to behold. Originally named Onguiaahra by Indians we've likely since killed, its new name and old one share the same meaning: "the straight". Unfortunately, the French are involved in this one:

It was the Iroquois that first named the river "Ongiara" or "Onguiaahra" and was generally referred to as "The Strait." The Indian names appeared on maps as early as 1641. The French named the river "Niagara" in a failed attempt to pronounce Ongiara or Onguiaahra.

Stupid Commie French Canadians.

15,000 years ago, the falls began seven miles downstream as one fall, according to information provided by those sneaky Canadians.

There's more to see in my next post, which covers more on the falls and more information about that nation to the North.